Pain

You come in order your food and you look at me puzzled. Yes youre right you do know me. Finally i can see the shock written all over your face. "You turned out pretty Hot C.C." how i wish you could have heard my thoughts. i notice your beer gut, your splotchy unshaven face and that invisible stupid sign planked on your face. All i can say is "Do i know you?" but in my head i do. i remember every word you've ever said to me. i remember you calling me "Bastard Child" and "Tooty Fruity Christian" and "Virgin C.C." And many other ugly countless names that i wouldnt even ever say out loud everyday in biology class my freshman year. you dont deserve to be told that i remember you. Because honestly until this moment i had forgotten all about you. i needed to see that in the end your the one who hasnt changed you look just as gross on the outside now as you did on the inside. but i actually hope for your sake the ugliness on the inside went away.

My Love.. Summer

The clock is always ticking, tick tock tic
Passing by the blissful hours im going to forever miss
How fast this life is passing me by
I wish it would all just slow down for a while
I wish i could stay in this one moment for the rest of all time
So i could hold on to this memory and call it forever mine <3
I want to hold these waves forever in my hands
I want everything to stand still right now, under my command
I want to always walk my lovely long beach
And feel the cool wet sand under my feet
To always feel the tiny minnows kiss my toes
How they have become my friends instead of my long ago foes
The blood orange sunset has so kindly promised to keep me warm
But the clock is still ticking leaving my smitten heart torn
Life goes on so they so proudly say
But in my heart this image will surely stay
I ll remember the warm blood orange sun and my cold wet sand
And the white cap waves that i so often held in the palm of my hands.

For Him

Chocking on growing giggles slipping past my throat
Tickling tingles taste so satisfyingly sweet
Smile lines slowly become eager knowing their in use
Tasty temptations taking in the light
And an uproar of excitement fills the air of the night
Lungs taking in all they can take gasping for air
My lungs squeezing inside my tummy feels so rare
Everything grows dizzy in my daydreaming mind
Tears tear past my cheeks
You laugh and I laugh, we laugh
We laugh at our dreams and our long lost hopes
Fears that have entangled themselves around us like ropes
Taunting us til we are terrified
So we laugh at our fears and our failures and we laugh at what we have actually accomplished
we laugh, just because we can.

Saved

Chronologically collecting my thoughts calmly as i quickly catch up with my conquered fears
Memories, memorized momentarily in the mist of my mind.
Tossing and turning with terrified tingles tickling my tummy
As I breathe in each breath, beauty is bestowed upon me.
I grab the growing eagerness that is easily intertwined in my intestines.
The butterflies flutter, flatter their fickle wings throughout my full body.
Finally something real fills me whole and makes me feel alive
Something slips and slides and smothers my slick sinning heart
I feel something, something warmer than warm something so right.
I can render it radically as it releases  all my ridiculous fears about reality
Images of daylight, delight my daydreaming heart.
Grace gradually grows throughout my whole being
Happiness returns to me quickly
Fear is pushed past my pitiful pathetic past and out of my potentially paradised future.
until i can finally breathe freely again.

And My Walls Fall Down

Roses are blooming

Daffodils are springing

And Lillie’s are sprouting

Lavenders are slowly growing from the green grass

Crickets they sing softly

Frogs jump form Lilly to Lilly pad

The creek it sparkles

The stars above they glisten

and I look around and see all that I have

and see that something is missing

I have secrets like everyone else

I have walls that I hide behind

I’ve hidden the key where no one will find it

but somehow

you’ve found the ladder and

you’re climbing down my green vines

that I’ve safely been hiding behind

and I hate to admit it but your finding your way in

to my secret garden.

Laughter is passed back and forth

like childish school notes

I’ve never let anyone in

I've never let anyone get this close

my thoughts I've held for so long

are pouring out of me like a newly written song

I tell you things that I've never told anyone else

and you tell me things that I've never even thought about

your on the same rate of mind set as me

you keep up and slow down with me so easily.

and you have secrets just like me

you have walls but your slowly pulling them free

you've hidden the key where no one will find it but somehow

I’ve found the ladder and I'm climbing down your vines

that for so long you've hidden behind

and I know you hate to admit it

but I'm finding my way in

into your secret garden.

I hope you can see what you've done to me

your destroying my insecurities

and finally I feel like I can breathe

and I'm letting you in to see..

Roses are blooming

Daffodils are springing

And Lillie’s are sprouting

Lavenders are slowly growing from the green grass

Crickets they sing softly

Frogs jump form Lilly to Lilly pad

The creek it sparkles

The stars above it glistens

and I look around and see all that I have

and I see you

next

to

me.

WRITTEN BY C.C. Weatherly

July 25, 2011

2:13 AM

:D

The Things I See

The things i see

 I'm not afraid of the unknown

I'm not afraid of being alone

I can see that others don’t understand

I feel like a lost sea shell hidden beneath the sand

waiting eagerly for someone to pick me up and take me home

so I could share with them my inner thoughts and will no longer be on my own

but I know sometimes my thoughts are to crazy

make believe and sometimes hazy

I’m not afraid of dieing

and to rant I stick to writing

I never kill tiny bugs

they have lives too

I don’t like playing God

I think of too many thoughts at a time

I'm living behind a wall you weren’t fit to climb

and sometimes I'm scared of nothing at all

I never capitalize

my i's

if I did it would make me feel like im too important

ans late at night when I cant sleep

I like to draw and day dream

I still obsessed with  Pokemon

and i still watch and laugh at old friends reruns

I play poker but not lady gaga style

I'm outgoing but sometimes it takes awhile

I'm shy too but only when we first meet

I don’t need a man to sweep me off my feet

I think about others that are struggling

and how in awe I am that they keep fighting

I think about starving children

and how some of us are sitting here doing nothing for them

I have day dreams about meeting Mario

and how people enter our life’s then later go

I ponder about many things

like the pain and joy this world brings

late at night I think about many things

things I create and make believe

I think about the happiness I get from just watching the sun rise

I think about all the pain and sorrow yet joy I see in the worlds eyes

I think about how blissfully ignorant others are including me

I think about everything in this world ive yet to see

id rather spend all my time outside

then staying indoors and secretly hiding

I loveremembering the smell of the ocean

And loving my God is where I put all my devotion

I wish that you could see

all my thoughts that I'm thinking

I wish that just some ONE could understand

how precious this life is

And just for once someone would take my hand. 

so big and so bright

so unique and fierce yet so kind

I wish that you could see the beautiful things I see

all the worlds endless possibilities

I wish you could feel this

kind of love it brings so much bliss

and rides you of enemies

its never dark here

you never have to fear

this is home to me

I wish the world could see

the things that I see.

things i think about late at night when i cant sleep and through out the day 

i swear no one understands whats goin on up here .. but here's an insight. 

Dreams

This is a song i wrote a few weeks ago :)
       
 Dreams
I always say not to skip ahead
So I thought Id stay in the past I like it here instead
Where theres only love and laughter no war but peace
Where the guns are full of water
And everything is easy

And we believed in shooting stars
We believed this world was ours
I believed Id always be with you
and you believed dreams came true
Dreams came true

[change key]

I always say not to skip ahead
So I thought Id stay in the past I like it here instead
Where theres only love and laughter
When we'd fight, but be friends soon after
And everything was easy.

Where we believed we'd ride past these handle bars
We believed we'd get out of this town and make it so damn far
We believed everything was fine
But that was back when you believed in such a thing as 'once upon a time'

But then you took and you took and tried to tear me apart
You took and you took,
and you thought that you could break my heart
You took and you took ,
and you took some more
you took and you took and you asked me what i even dreamed for.
And I said that's the difference between you and me
Cause i still believe in fantasies
And i never grew out of a thing called dreaming.

Cause i believe in shooting stars.
And i believe I'm gonna get out of this town and make it so damn far.
I believe that without you ill be just fine.
I believe this is the start of my very own beginning and Ill start it out with
Once upon a time.

Because..I believe. In. Dreams.

:)
someone in your life will tell you, you cant do something even someone you love with all you re heart. I guess i just never grew out of dreaming? :] so their not going to stop me.