bleehh

I actually forgot all about this...

For Sarah

Words spoken long ago,

Lovely letters whispered soft and low.

I hear them now as I look at who you once where.

I see the old you..

The alive you.

I see my Sarah.

I see the smile widen across your cheeks

And I remember all your secrets that we always attempted to keep discrete.

Your hair fell just above your adventurous hazel eyes.

I knew you for everything.. Even the things you tired to hide.

Your freckles were placed just right,

and your laughter I will always remember because you kept me up half the night.

Our long talks about life and everything beyond our wildest dreams..

Sarah even though you were younger, you were by far the biggest influence on me.

As we grew we talked about boys, and how they didn't scare us anymore.

We talked about everything, because that is what best friends are for. 

Now that you're gone who will I tell my secrets too?

Who will hold me close when I'm feeling down and rather blue?

You were only 16.. So very young.

i still remember those two little girls who wanted to be like Peter Pan and always have fun.

I think about who we once were.. Two little girls who thought they'd always be together...

Always and forever ..

Now forever seems forever away...

At least I still have the rain.. After all it is our favorite type of weather:)

So many wet and dirty mud fights that have stained my white shirts brown

... Ill think of you when life gets lonely because of you I wont have reason to frown.. 

I think about you Sarah.. and I still talk to you everyday.

I'll never forget you, because in my heart you will always stay.

Final Goodbye:

I walked these halls every day,

This feeling inside is very strange.

I wasn't prepared for this to end.

I walk these halls all alone

So i can let my thoughts freely roam

I watch the old memories play out in my mind

I push play then i push rewind!

Chorus:

I stand here tall in front of you

I hope you all can feel it too

This bittersweet farewell

Here it is the final Bell

I close my eyes and get real scared

When i leave this behind am i leaving prepared

Here it is our final goodbye

To Whitehouse High.

I'll remember performing at every football game

Cause just for an instant it felt like fame.

Ill always recall, those boys of fall

We stood by them through it all.

We've become wiser and a little bit older

We've taken risks which have made us bolder

We've grown up in this place

We'll recall every name every single face.

Chorus.

Bridge:

The friends we've made

The chances we've taken

The lives we've changed

The rules that we've broken

Its made us who we are

Can you even believe we actually made it this far?

But we have a whole life time for moments like these

and im ready now, yes i am ready now that's its time to leave.

Though memories may fade..

I hope that one day..

You'll still remember my name,

Cause this is not just a goodbye

This is a hello to our new lives

but there will always be a voice inside that sings...

"Always in our memories, ever in our hearts, yes we will remember...

Dear Whitehouse High.'

I close my eyes and get real scared

When i leave this behind i am leaving prepared..

Here it is our final goodbye,

To Whitehouse High.

Pain

You come in order your food and you look at me puzzled. Yes youre right you do know me. Finally i can see the shock written all over your face. "You turned out pretty Hot C.C." how i wish you could have heard my thoughts. i notice your beer gut, your splotchy unshaven face and that invisible stupid sign planked on your face. All i can say is "Do i know you?" but in my head i do. i remember every word you've ever said to me. i remember you calling me "Bastard Child" and "Tooty Fruity Christian" and "Virgin C.C." And many other ugly countless names that i wouldnt even ever say out loud everyday in biology class my freshman year. you dont deserve to be told that i remember you. Because honestly until this moment i had forgotten all about you. i needed to see that in the end your the one who hasnt changed you look just as gross on the outside now as you did on the inside. but i actually hope for your sake the ugliness on the inside went away.

My Love.. Summer

The clock is always ticking, tick tock tic
Passing by the blissful hours im going to forever miss
How fast this life is passing me by
I wish it would all just slow down for a while
I wish i could stay in this one moment for the rest of all time
So i could hold on to this memory and call it forever mine <3
I want to hold these waves forever in my hands
I want everything to stand still right now, under my command
I want to always walk my lovely long beach
And feel the cool wet sand under my feet
To always feel the tiny minnows kiss my toes
How they have become my friends instead of my long ago foes
The blood orange sunset has so kindly promised to keep me warm
But the clock is still ticking leaving my smitten heart torn
Life goes on so they so proudly say
But in my heart this image will surely stay
I ll remember the warm blood orange sun and my cold wet sand
And the white cap waves that i so often held in the palm of my hands.

For Him

Chocking on growing giggles slipping past my throat
Tickling tingles taste so satisfyingly sweet
Smile lines slowly become eager knowing their in use
Tasty temptations taking in the light
And an uproar of excitement fills the air of the night
Lungs taking in all they can take gasping for air
My lungs squeezing inside my tummy feels so rare
Everything grows dizzy in my daydreaming mind
Tears tear past my cheeks
You laugh and I laugh, we laugh
We laugh at our dreams and our long lost hopes
Fears that have entangled themselves around us like ropes
Taunting us til we are terrified
So we laugh at our fears and our failures and we laugh at what we have actually accomplished
we laugh, just because we can.

Saved

Chronologically collecting my thoughts calmly as i quickly catch up with my conquered fears
Memories, memorized momentarily in the mist of my mind.
Tossing and turning with terrified tingles tickling my tummy
As I breathe in each breath, beauty is bestowed upon me.
I grab the growing eagerness that is easily intertwined in my intestines.
The butterflies flutter, flatter their fickle wings throughout my full body.
Finally something real fills me whole and makes me feel alive
Something slips and slides and smothers my slick sinning heart
I feel something, something warmer than warm something so right.
I can render it radically as it releases  all my ridiculous fears about reality
Images of daylight, delight my daydreaming heart.
Grace gradually grows throughout my whole being
Happiness returns to me quickly
Fear is pushed past my pitiful pathetic past and out of my potentially paradised future.
until i can finally breathe freely again.